Career Counseling

Career Counseling DC FAQs: Why do I hate my job?

Career Counseling  Posted by / 0 comments

As a rule, people who are serious about their careers put a lot of time, energy, and education into achieving their dream job. Yet I find in my career counseling DC practice that, in spite of all the forethought and preparation, lots of people hate what they do for a living. 

While on the surface it seems quite puzzling, when I dig deeper I often find that the explanation for these career difficulties is career match or, more accurately, career mismatch.

Career Mismatch

A meaningful and engaging career hinges on the degree to which there is a good match between a person and what she or he does. The general idea is that the closer the career match, the better the outcomes.  Bad matches lead to more negatives, like dissatisfaction, disengagement, boredom and burnout.

Mismatching comes in many forms. Here are some of the more common:

1 – Values Mismatch.

Many people come to recognize that their career feels all wrong, as if they are wearing clothes made for someone very different. One of the main reasons for this is that personal values are  not being met in a career. For instance, if autonomy is a very important value to you, there’s a very good chance you’re going to be miserable  in a situation with someone constantly looking over your shoulder,.

2 – Work Environment/Culture Mismatch.

This type of mismatch can either be subtle or so in your face you can’t avoid it. Largely, this has to do with how much you  prefer to interact with your co-workers and in what capacity. An example of this mismatch is that a highly extroverted person is going to feel stifled and disconnected in a workplace that values quiet, independent work projects.

3 – Skills Mismatch.

This is a tricky one. Often people will describe being under or over qualified for a given job, but this feeling may be  tied to one of the above types of mismatch. Most people are able to rise to the occasion or can figure out a way to contribute when they feel a part of something. When you don’t feel connected to what you do, you disengage and often place blame on a skills mismatch. To be sure, there are times when skill sets are very poorly matched, but it’s useful to first examine how other types of mismatch might be at play.

When helping people to improve their careers or to pick a more suitable one, I frequently focus first on these career match elements.  I’ve found in my career counseling DC practice that these elements are key to finding and developing a meaningful and satisfying work life.

Until next time,

Brad Brenner, Ph.D. Psychologist

Dr. Brad Brenner

Counseling “How To” Guide: Life Changes

Anxiety / Career Counseling / Relationships / Stress / Therapy  Posted by / 0 comments

Changes in life – from moving across country for a new job, to going from being single to in a relationship, or vice versa, or dealing with a new reality of life – are complicated and full of contradictory emotions. People often seek counseling or therapy to assist themselves with change because of the confusing effects of change.

Cut through the confusion of life changes by recognizing 3 critical elements of the change process.

1 – Timing: Change that lasts cannot be rushed.

It may be tempting to dive right into taking action today.  However, it is important to lay the proper foundation to make effective and lasting change. Do this to avoid missteps and failure, which leaves you feeling as though change isn’t possible. Failure to change is usually about not having most of the pieces of the change puzzle figured out in advance. If you’re feeling uncertain, counseling or therapy, helps people to understand where they are on their personal change timeline.

2 – Stress: Remember that change–even welcomed change–comes with stress.

Transitions are stressful, even happy transitions. It’s pretty easy to recognize the stress and strain that comes with unwelcome transitions, like job stress or relationship problems. It’s less easy to see how a promotion or a new exciting relationship also comes with its own types of stress.

Keep in mind that change in and of itself causes stress since it alters usual behaviors, patterns and habits.

As creatures of habit, newness can put any of us on edge and stretch typical resources. Remember this, and build in ways to assist yourself as you deal with the new.

3 – Loss: With something new, you have to lose something old.

Change is another word for loss. Life changes come with an inevitable sense of loss, even if the change is a good one. When your life alters there’s an emotional component created by that alteration. Life that was once familiar is no longer quite the same, and is subtly – or not so subtly – unsettling. Reminiscing and thinking about the “good old days”, even if they weren’t actually that good, are part of letting go and moving into change.

At the core of most personal counseling are issues of dealing with and creating change in life. Though changing your life often feels like staring straight up a daunting cliff, here at District Psychotherapy Associates in DC psychologists and therapists assist people with understanding that change is entirely possible and lasting.

Until next time,

Brad Brenner, Ph.D. Psychologist

 

 

 

Dr. Brad Brenner