Couples Counseling DC Series: The Trusting Relationship Style
Trusting Relationship Style
“Your relationship style directly impacts the type of relationship that you seek, and the types of things you’ll do to create it with your partner. Think of your style as a colored lens through which you view close relationships. The shade of the lens influences how you view and emotionally reach to your romantic relationship. This style influences the way you seek closeness and connection with your partner, and ultimately determines what feels right and comfortable to you in a relationship.
Relationship researchers and couples counseling therapists recognize that each of the four relationship styles is defined by typical psychological and behavioral patterns.
Have you taken your Relationship Styles Assessment yet? We recommend that you take the Assessment now and then read on about each of the Styles.
In this post, I’ll describe the Trusting relationship style pattern.
You can learn about the three other styles – Brooding, Independent, and Wary - in each of the next three postings on the District Psychotherapy Associates blog.
Individuals whose style is Trusting tend to be comfortable in a relationship that balances emotional closeness and independence. Think of a relationship as a see-saw with closeness on one end and independence on the other. If your style is Trusting, you’ll most likely seek balance by sitting right in the middle.
In our couples counseling DC practice we find that partners with a Trusting style see their relationships as their primary psychological and emotional touchstone. That means that when they are upset they reach out to their partner for emotional closeness and trust that the partner will consistently be open and responsive.
Further, when they are having relationship difficulties, their approach is usually straightforward, expecting that problems will be solved and that their partner will be fair and compassionate. They are comfortable expressing their emotions and needs, and can be flexible in negotiating solutions with their partner. They choose to not dwell on the problems for very long.
The Trusting relationship style is a balanced style and people with it exhibit confidence and faith in their partners. If this is your relationship style, you’ll feel comfortable with a partner who depends on you and expects that you’ll be responsive to their needs. You’ll also be adaptable to a partner who occasionally needs some amount of distance and time away.
Understanding which of the four styles you have will help you understand why you tend to react in similar ways in different relationships, and sometimes even pick the same type of person again even when it hasn’t worked in the past.
Until next time,
Dr. Brad Brenner
Not sure about your own style? Take our free Relationship Styles self-assessment here.